Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bums, Books, Blogs


Many bums have come and gone since I've been sitting here in the library. One of which described in detail how he got beat up by some guy with a skateboard today. He stumbled in and sat down at a table next to me and laid his head down, making various grunting and groaning noises. I didn't think much of it since this happens all the time, but then someone who I assume he knew (or do all bums just know one another?) started talking to him. He said he'd gotten his ass kicked, been beat up with a baseball bat, pipe, and all other sorts of torture and punishment in the corse of his life, but this was the first time he'd ever been fucked up by a skateboard. To this yet another bum who looked like a walking quilt of various patches (Santa Cruz, pirate skull and crossbones, green teddy bear, etc.) replied: "You know there is a type of kung-fu using skateboards people do, it's called truck-fu." (I swear to god he actually said this) (anyway I couldn't make that shit up) Needless to say this sentiment didn't seem to ease him, as he continued to grunt and groan for another couple of hours or so.
At this point you may be wondering what it is I am doing in the library for hours on end. Don't worry, I haven't started playing WOW or anything, I'm doing stuff for school. I won't bore you with the details just know that I have more on my plate right now than Ghandi after one of his many fasts. By the way the picture at the top (I couldn't figure out how to put it at the bottom) is what one looks like after spending said hours at a computer screen researching a 17th century dead dude. 
later gaters

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why do I get the feeling I'll be judged on these thoughts in the afterlife?

I've got some sound advice for all you kiddies out there, as I'm sure this is likely the reason for reading my blog in the first place I'll clue you in to a real jewel; don't watch crazy Japanese videos on YouTube and then promptly fall asleep. You will have some crazy ass dreams. Guaranteed. I have never felt more Japanese in my life, because if this is the kind of stuff they are constantly subjected to in their waking life then they have to feel as strange as I do presently throughout their entire lives. A scary thought. But then again they dream up this stuff in the first place allowing us all to feel the sheer joy their culture exhudes. At least on T.V. anyway.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Great Success!

Just finished writing my first paper since my return to school and I have to say it feels damn fine. Now one might say: "It's a two page paper, get over yourself." And to them I say Fuck off, it's a big step for me and I worked long and hard on it. Asshole.

And so, with all my responsibilities taken care of, I get to surf the world wide interweb for the calamities and overall ridiculousness of my peers until Suzye gets out of class. Yeeeeaaaahhh!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Best 2009 Ever!

I said this about 2008 one year ago and '08 sucked. At best it was the third best 2008 ever. So what all-yall-gon do about it? First off, to all of my friends who are fiddily-fucking around the globe: COME HOME. (You know who you are) I know you are doing good or whatever, having grand, no doubt life changing experiences, but in all actuality the greatest good you could do for me right now is to be in close proximity to me. That way I could have a friend to hang out with, or maybe even two. Ok there, I said it; I dont have any friends. I've always been a semi-popular guy (especially with the ladies) but here in the epicenter of the hipster fuckin universe its hard for a guy like me to avoid climbing a clocktower and... well... you know.

2009 did however kick off with a bang. For any of you who might be reading this, do not take offense to what I am about to say, but my expectations were not all that high. But man o man was I sure wrong. Just sayin, could have been the greatest n.y.e. in the history of my sad little world. For the uninitiated, (there's a good chance ninty percent of the people reading this were there, but then again, alcolol was involved) it was a shit show. In hindsight the catalist was the massive amount of alcohol. We had it in spades; a fifth each of whiskey, vodka, scotch (thanks Kirra), and rum. Also a twenty-four of mirror pond, an eighteen of vitamin R and the coup de gras; a huge bottle of champaigne. The latter of which I did'nt even see until the next day. Once all of us were saturated, the night culminated in a sushi rice fight. Nuff said.

So I'm calling in all of you, lets do whatever it takes to make this truly the best 2009 EVER!