Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Ape Cave Adventure

Freshly home from a lengthy day out and about. Today was the ape caves adventure in which I'd been looking forward to for about a week. Any chance to depart Olympia is a welcome one for me, and this was no exception. We hiked for about two miles in the snow and entered at the top of the lava tube. As we approached the depression in the snow that was the entrance I, being first in line, made my way down into the dark unknown. Some steep-ass metal stairs, which eventually turned into a ladder, greeted me as I inched my way down the snowy hill into the cavern. It was all pretty intense as the blackness engulfed me, and as I got to the bottom I saw that about ten meters inside there was a beautiful moss coated skylight with rain trickling through, which distracted me momentarily from the fact that I am indeed alone underground with a void to either side of me. We walked to the beginning of the tube and then back to the entrance where we had our lunch. The only scare we had was when the cavern suddenly started to fill with smoke. The first thing through my mind was "oh shit, the lava's triumphant return!" But as it turned out some idiots in front of us had started a fire, for what reason I am unsure. The only thing I can think of is that they were smoking weed (which I definitely caught a whiff of) and, seeing our lights coming, got paranoid and lit some TP on fire to cover the smell. Sounds like a plausible stoner scenario right? When we got to the main entrance we decided to proceed down the tube long enough to escape the light and turn off all of our lights for a good five or more minutes. We all had weird sensations including seeing textures, light sorces from behind us, hearing voices, and generally going momentarily insane. Someone earlier told a story of a man who got stranded in a cave with no lights by himself and was not rescued for three days. I can only imagine the terror he must have felt having only experienced complete darkness for a matter of minutes. Hopefully I can snag some pictures of the excursion and post them at a later date. For now my dogs are tired and I think I'll make some tea and go to sleep.

keep your stick on the ice,


Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Ah I feel it. I feel the power! The power of the internet is upon me. I can feel the ones and zeros coursing through my vanes! Today the thing I have repeatedly claimed that I was going to get has finally been gotten; a wireless router. I write this not from a smelly library, a noisy cafe, or the all together depressing vibe of school, but from my couch. I am watching 2001: a space odyssey with Ryan and genuinely chillin'.

Hopefully this means I will be more inclined to post, not having to go out of the way to do so. This may have mixed results, which begs the question; do you feel lucky? well... do you... PUNK? You could be having a shitty day and, noticing that I made a post thought, "hey, that Randall's a cynical bastard, maybe he said something that'll make me feel better." But NO, turns out I had a great day and posted about happiness, cheer, and flowers and shit. Now what? Now you feel let down and even worse than when you started. But keep in mind that the opposite could also be true. Say, for instance that your day was so rad that it shit awesome. You might see that I posted and think, "hey, that Randall's a cynical bastard, lmaybe he said something that'll make me feel better." and BAM! I hit you with a sob story about how my entire day was spent thinking about my far-away love in Austrailia and drinking my own tears, recycled through a filter to remove the salt, while constantly hugging and petting my cat against her will.

It could happen. Read at your own risk.

Thank you and good night.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

coping, doping, and mopeing my days away

I could not make it the entire month of March, it was getting to itchy!

I've been neglecting this thing and for that I'm sorry. Most of my thoughts lately have been scribbled on the tear-soaked pages of dear diary, given my recent state of affairs. (The loss of your better half for two months will make even the most lizard skinned dude a little down in the trousers) I have coping mechanisms though, like anyone else, and should these prove semi-successful I should be, in no time at all, reunited with the one I love. In the grand scheme of things I really don't have it too bad, with the advent of internet I am able to at least send and receive messages without the use of snail mail.

That's all for now, got to get back to my coping mechanisms, i.e. video games and alcohol.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mustache March

Ok, so here it is after about a week. I didn't have the balls to grow from scratch, so I went without shaving for about a week and then 86ed everything but this bad boy.

I encourage all who read this to do the same, ladies included. I saw a woman on the bus yesterday who put my shit to shame. She had a goatee the likes of which my face has never seen!

Monday, March 9, 2009

A broken machine, tired and forgetfull.

Right now I feel exactly like the computer I'm typing on, the only difference being it gets to sleep every now and again, and the fact that my internal cpu gets exhausted. Well, I guess that's not really true, Suzye's computer gets exhausted and shuts off now and again without warning. What I mean to say I feel mechanical, but I'm finding out just how bad of a machine I am. When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut, but I'm thinking there is no way I would be able to hack it after being subjected to this much stress and cracking as I have. I gave up on being an astronaut because I hated math and didn't think it would ever be possible. Seems like thoughts really do become things...heh heh. wait a minute, never mind, that is sad, not funny. I'm loopy, I should now say for the record that you shouldn't expect this post to make any sense, basically I am doing it only for the guilt of not posting for a while, and the complete lack of anything else to do. You see, I've been going for I don't even know how long without a day off of work and I may be for the first time truly at my whits end. After a long work-week followed by a seemengly equally long work-weekend (the closest to a weekend I get... wait a minute that does not make any sense... there are no shades of grey, either it's a weekend or it isn't...right?) Anyway, the point is that I lost an hour with daylight savings and I think I lost something else too... though I'm not quite sure what it is, or was. Maybe I was supposed to do something important during that time, but never did it because that hour was lost. Pressing on, after all of these shanatigans (SP?) I had to be at work at five am this morning and this did not help matters. Luckily though, it waited to snow until after I arrived. Had it not, my two-wheeled commute would have turned into something of an expidition. After work I asked my boss to raise my wage for teaching swimming lessons to that of lifeguarding (for some reason I get about fifty cents less per hour) and he basically said in so many words that he actually does not have the power to do this, and furthermore if I get a raise then everybody else has to also, and he is a stressed out idiot figurehead, and so on and so forth. Having utterly failed, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and rode my bike to the transit center to catch a bus home. I got off the bus, checked the mail, and proceeded directly to bed to take a nap before class this evening. I was nearly in sleeps clutches when a disturbing thought occured to me.. HOLY FUCKING SHIT FUCK I FORGOT TO GET MY FUCKING BIKE OFF THE FRONT OF THE MOTHERFUKING BUS. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!
To give you a bit of backstory this is not the first time I have done this. The other time was after work one evening and I realized it right after I got off and sprinted as fast as I could after the bus. Luckily for me It stopped at the next stop and I was able to retrieve it no problem. A funny little tidbit on that is by sheer chance that as I was sprinting with every fiber of my being, Suzye was driving down Frederick street, almost home, when what does she see but yours truly, leaving it all on the field so to speak, running by. I, walking my bike, approached her car and she had the most worried look on her face until I explained what had happened. Anyway, to wrap up the story I did get my bike back, I just had to go to the transit center to retrieve it after making a phone call. What it meant though, is I was unable to take my sacred siesta. I hopped a bus to Evergreen and it is here I sit, half asleep and haggard, typing these run on sentences and misspellings that, for the first time, condone the title of my blog. I had some other topic to discuss, but I forgot it in my incessent rambleing. It was no doubt more noteworthy than what I have written but hey, what ya gonna do?

Monday, March 2, 2009

concrete jungle

The following is an excerpt from my journal written Sunday, March 1st while working at Costco.

America depresses the fuck out of me sometimes. Two little girls just strolled by me repeating "Coca Cola" to each other, each holding soda's bigger than their heads. Sooner or later the first words out of our children's mouths instead of "da-da" or "ma-ma" will be "McDonalds", "Pepsi", or "Huggies". Now more than ever I feel so out of place in this country. I would even go so far as to give up such awesome technology such as airplanes, automobiles, and even the internet if it meant I could live in a world where people were not slaves to corporations; all of us relentlessly sucking of the teet of our inherited consumerism. It would be a world in which I could have a distinct place and purpose in a community, preferably in a forest. Instead of buying in bulk at costco I could actually earn something by hunting a wild animal, using my whits and my strengths rather than my fucking debit card. I'm sick and tired of having to wade through shopping carts and people riding on motorized scooters, constantly seeing commercials for shows I'll never watch and products I don't need and will never buy, being told how I can get cash back and zero percent APR. Sometimes I am simply discusted by the world around me.

Now maybe not all of you readers know that every weekend I am slapped in the face with these issues, images, and stark fuckin realities, but I want you all to know that it is starting to wear me thin. Don't get too worried on my behalf, I'll be ok, maybe it's just that I've been far too long without a camping trip.