Wednesday, April 29, 2009

So fresh and so clean

Today was one of purification. Let's just say that the house's ass has been officially made grass. From my room to the pink (?) scum all over the tub, a new shower curtain, Zuke's cage, the living room, and even the massive pile of recycling in the laundry room, the dirtiness has been decimated. Feelin' good, feelin' grand, the vagina is no longer filled with sand.

Had the day off to accomplish all of this save for the lifeguard inservice I just got home from. We had to do a drill where we swim the length of the pool, retrieve a ten pound brick from the bottom, bring it to the surface and swim with it to where we started. We were timed and I won with a time of thirty-four seconds. I am told by my boss that I will get a prize. I wonder what It'll be. Probably a snickers or something. That's cool, I'll take a snickers.

Not much else going on in my life as of late, just passing the days until I am reunited with all of my friends along with the love of my life. I really mean what I said in my last entry about the sixteenth, if you guys don't show, you'd better have some excuse like "I went to the zoo and fell in with the lions and they tore all my limbs off, threw me into the gorilla cage where I was beaten with my severed limbs, tossed in with the crocks and torn into small pieces, and last but not least hurled into a whale aquarium where I was sifted through baleen and excreted as whale shit." It really has to be that good. So if you can't come you better start thinking of something.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Life; Highs and Lows

I got home from work this evening and and saw Jeremy standing motionless in the living room. When I asked what the hell he was doing he told me to listen. I did. I heard nothing. I proceeded to make some dinner and hang out and forgot about it. Presently I sit in the living room and there is an incessant scratching coming from the wall. Having ruled out the cats, being the obvious assumption, I conclude that it must be some mouse or other critter trapped between the wall. How this kind of thing happens I have no idea. What I do know is it is actually getting LOUDER! and more frequent. God help us all from going insane.

In better news, I just watched this video and it made me feel warm inside:

http://gizmodo.com/5231112/best-video-ive-seen-today-will-make-you-smile

I want all of you to stand by me on May 16th! No excuses will be accepted.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

100 prepaid phone card minutes= a hill of beans

So the story goes I bought a 100 minute prepaid phone card from Ralf's for $7.00 with the intent to call SQ down under. Suzye gave me the number in which to call and I figured out the country and city codes to complete the call. After dialing seven hundred thirty-four numbers I am told that I have "sixteen minutes for this call." Fine. I understand that it being an international call that it would cost more but realize that I lost 84% of my entire minutes available, outrageous. But fine, whatever, at least I'll get to hear my precious baby's voice right? WRONG. Every time I call it says that "the number you are trying to reach is busy." So this means that Suzye (or Hattie) has been on the phone for five+ hours... I don't think so. At least I hope not. About five minutes ago I tried once more and this time I somehow had seven minutes available, while still being unable to complete the call.

If anyone knows about these sort of things and how to avoid wasting your hard-earned money, please share your knowledge with a bra.

p.s. Hulu is shit. Not the shit, but shit. I gave you my personal information with the hopes of being able to watch full episodes of futurama and what do I get? Clips?
Dick move.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wolves love pork

http://www.pinktentacle.com/2009/04/video-a-wolf-loves-pork/

It is clear after viewing this video that the Japanese are (a) very creative (b) have a great amount of time on their hands (c) have very clean apartments.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

[see title]

First and foremost, thank you all for your best birthday wishes. Let me tell you, and this becomes truer every year, that I really don't feel any older. I am equally as immature as I was last week, I shower every bit as infrequently, and have yet to make millions in the stock market (or however people make millions anyway). Yes not much has changed. The monotony of my routine is staggering. I have been meaning to do laundry for nearly a week now and let me tell you, things don't look good for tomorrow either. I rather feel like a cheetah I remember seeing at the Lincoln Park Zoo while visiting Chicago which had worn a circular path around a large log, pacing ever forward yet ending up right where it started. In it's eyes I saw the envy of those outside it's caged existence. Olympia is my cage and this house my log.

With the coming summer things should be different. New work, new destinations, new times with good friends await me. Fuck Olympia! Hooray!

This weekend I cross the mountains to visit my parents. Cake, ice cream, good 'ol sitting around with the fam. After all is said and done perhaps I'll actually feel like a milestone in age has been achieved. As of now it hardly feels as though I've had a birthday at all. In celebration I took work off, did some homework, and played some vids. It was without a doubt the least eventful, or meaningful birthday in memory. I am beginning to realize that at some point what does it really matter? One more trip around the sun. As arbitrary as anything else I suppose.

That's all for now, nighty-night.

Randall

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A minute gained is a minute earned

Sometime too much really is never enough. Take instance this very evening; I should, for all intensive purposes, be sleeping right now. But sometimes when you've felt you have paid your dues and done your time, you feel a little "me" time is in order. After working on the essay/keynote that will not die for a week on top of regular homework and two unrelenting jobs, when you get a few moments to yourself you tend to milk it for all it's worth. This begins to explain why I remain conscious at this irresponsible hour. But in my mind I know that the sooner I sleep, the sooner I wake, only to repeat this relentless pattern.

The time, now approaching 2:30, has become intimidating. The battery meter hovers slightly above 30%. My stomach whispers subconsciously to me "you better shut down or give me fuel", and my leg has beaten the rest of my body to the punch in falling asleep.

Four strikes, I'm out.

RS

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

All I see is blonde, brunette, redhead.

I have spent so much time in front of the computer screen today I feel as if I were to watch the matrix I could actually read the flowing green script of the matrix itself. My eyesight is probably worse now than when I awoke this morning. Today alone no doubt accelerated the inevitable time in which I will have to wear glasses. The sad thing is I have gotten extraordinarily little actual work done. To my own credit most of it has been research, and therefore amounts to little that is organized and tangible. I am beginning to think I have bitten off more than I can chew. I started class on Monday and, like an idiot, volunteered when no one else would to be the first to do a presentation in front of the class. This involves a four page research paper along with a keynote (powerpoint) presentation by Monday. So I have used my day off this week to try to get something together. I am going to my parents house in eastern Washington this weekend and will have little time to accomplish anything homework wise due to the combined eleven hours of driving I can expect. My whole day has been like that Sublime song about not wanting to get out of bed. It keeps calling to me, promising unlimited comfort and sweet dreams. All day I've been like a kid in a candy store with no pocket change.