Wednesday, February 18, 2009

WTF people?

So I show up to the library and am confronted with a choice, sit next to the bums (which I have already posted on) and the WOW players, or sit at these little study cubicle things. I choose the latter. But each one has something on it, some books, a magazine, a pencil carrier, etc. There are like four or five of these each with something on them, no one there. So I move a book and sit down. I sit here for about 40 minutes puttering around the internet and so on, when some girl hovers in front of me, staring me down. I take off my headphones and look at her as she grabs her stuff. I apologize and she continues to stare at me with her snaggle-tooth. I finally, after an awkward time ask if she would like the spot, and she says that "It is hers". I close my laptop and start to put it away when she sits down at the same cubicle as me, (on the opposite side of the partition, facing me) and goes about her business. Ok, first of all WTF!? Does anyone really own anything in a Fucking library? Even if you left something in the library you did own it would likely be stolen by bums in that 40 minute time frame anyway! And secondly, how did you not notice that there was an empty spot litterally inches from your snaggle-face? Bitch really got my goat.

5 comments:

  1. I sort of have a favorite spot at the School Library here at SPSCC. It's one of the four little table/booth things that have access to an outlet and it's sequestered enough that no one bothers me, but I'm not possessive about it. The only time I got mad that it was occupied was when there was some burnt out stoner kid sleeping there. So I threw little bits of paper at him until he woke up and got out of MAH SPOT!

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  2. Ok ok, she's a fool but don’t knock the snag-tooth (I rock a sturdy snaggle)
    You shoulda’ just let her stare you down, maybe a glance up to smile. MAYBE. I steal other peoples’ computers (or should I say the school computers people are using but get up to fuck around with homies –you snooze you lose right?), and when they come to pick up their books or bag or whatever they left behind to mark “their” territory while they gallivanted off, they’ll give me the whole “wtf-you-stole-MY-computer” stare down, maybe even inch closer to me when they realize I’m not paying any attention to their close proximity. I just bob my head (even if there isn’t any music in my ears) just to show my indifference to they’re trivial ass. They eventually go away. :)

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  3. I like to really put a capstone on experiences like that by saying something to this random inconsequential stranger, maybe something to the effect of "I like tigers...grrrrr" just so that not only did they lose their spot, they have a true moment of insanity attached to the moment in their memory, and I am not someone who will put up with the stink eye

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  4. Thanks for being on my side guys. You're the greatest!

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  5. How to play:

    Dear (someone you recently talked to),
    I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep(9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11)

    (12),
    (Your name)


    1) What's the color of your shirt?
    Blue - I'm in love with your cat
    Red - Our affair is over
    White - I’m joining the Convent
    Black -Our romance is over
    Green- Our socks don't match
    Grey - You're a leprechaun
    Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
    Other - I dislike your eyelashes

    2) Which is your birth month?
    January - That night you picked your nose
    February -When I quoted Forest Gump
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I tripped on peanut butter
    May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July – When you smacked my butt
    August - I think I realized it
    September - Last year when you peed your pants
    October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
    November - When your dog humped my leg
    December - When I finally changed my underwear

    3) Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Chicken- In your car
    Pasta - Outside of your office
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
    Lasagna - In your closet
    Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
    Fish - In a clown suit
    Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
    Pizza - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a street light
    Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

    4) What's the color of your socks?
    Yellow - Ignore
    Red - Put whipped cream on
    Black - Hit on
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - bit of
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the pants off of
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive over

    5) What's the color of your underwear?
    Black - My boyfriend
    White - My father
    Grey – The Catholic Priest
    Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
    Purple - My corned beef hash
    Red – My knee caps
    Blue - My salt-beef bucket
    Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
    Orange - My Blink 182 cd
    Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
    Other --The elephant in the corner

    6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    One Tree Hill - Senile
    Heroes- Frostbitten
    Lost -Middle-class
    Simpsons- Cowardly
    The news - Scarred
    American Idol - Masochistic
    Family Guy - Open
    Top Model - High
    Annat -shamed

    7) Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful you are
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
    Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
    Depressed – That we’re related
    Excited - That I may pee my pants
    Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
    Worried - That your Ford sucks
    Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
    Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
    Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
    Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
    Other - That your driving sucks

    8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your toe ring
    Yellow - Your love letters to me
    Red - The pictures from Vegas
    Black - Your pet rock
    Blue - The couch cushions
    Green - Your car
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your nose hair clippers
    Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
    Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

    9) The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - My virginity
    C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
    E/F - Your neighbors dog
    G/H - The oil tank from your car
    I/J - Your left ear
    K/L - The results of that blood-sample
    M/N - Your glass eye
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X – Your sucide note
    Y/Z - Your credit cards

    10) The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
    C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
    E/F -Never will forget that night
    G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
    I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
    K/L - Hate your cooking
    M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
    O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
    Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
    S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
    U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
    W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
    Y/Z – am better off without you

    11) What do you prefer to drink?
    Wine- Our friendship is ruined
    Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
    Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
    Milk - The apartment building is on fire
    Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
    Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
    Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
    Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
    Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
    Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
    Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
    Other – you should stop picking your nose

    12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
    Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
    France - Love always
    Spain - With tears of sadness
    China – You make me sick
    Germany – Please don’t hurt me
    Japan - Go milk a cow
    Greece - Your everlasting enemy
    USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
    Egypt – Kiss my butt
    England - Go drown yourself

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