Letter to Suzye

Dear Suzye,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your closet and I saw you pull the clothes off the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and our relationship is ruined

Go milk a cow,
Randall